Pop

My favorite TV show’s about vampires in love
Yeah, it’s as good as it sounds
I just got back from a long vacation in an run-down third world land
And I put on about 15 poundsI wish my taste was better
I wish my culture was more refined
I wish I didn’t know who all the people on the cover of People Magazine were,
butChorus
I get all my news from the pages of TV Guide
And I prefer all of my vegetables deep fried
I have aspirations to greatness,
but ambitions tied to the couch
Every day I thank God above I live in AmericaI know all of the players on the NY Jets, but I don’t know the family next door
But just like me, I’m sure they watch TV all night
I’ve got a bunch of opinions that I read somewhere or maybe heard on the nightly news
I only remember the sound of the sound biteI’ve never read a book by Jean Paul Sartre,
but I’ve seen all six Star Wars films
And while I don’t know much, I know Han shot first, I’m full of so much trivia, my head might burst, butChorusDeep inside I think I’m better
Than all the other people that I know
Cuz my opinions get validated
By my choice of TV show
My Country tis of me
My Country tis of me
My Country tis of meChorusMy Country tis of me
My Country tis of me
My Country tis of me
I live in America

I can grow a beard in half a week flat
I suppose that makes me a man
But there’s so much more that I’m trying to be
So much more to the planI always wanted to conquer the world
I don’t mean that figuratively
I really mean I want to command a global army
And rule over all that I seeCHORUS
I am a genius of unspeakable evil
and I will rule over you
I am a genius of unspeakable evil
and I will rule the worldThe fortunate will know my mercy
Others will only despair
Women will be summoned from across the world
And beg to carry my heirI will make my enemies battle
In knife fights to the death
And my name will be known the whole world over
On every dying breathCHORUSMy whole plan is laid out for me
I wonder what is happening
My minions haven’t followed any directions
I don’t think they are listeningHow am I supposed to rule the world
Without a loyal army of disposable thugs?
I’m still sitting in my room with my dreams unrealized
Trying to find an outlet for my loveCHORUSYes, I will rule the world
Surely, I will rule the world

Well I’m a twelfth-level Elven Cleric from the planet Cybertron
(I know that’s kinda mixing metaphors a little bit, but I think to think of it as two great tastes that taste great together)

I could always pick the Cylons out when Battlestar Galatica was on
(Seriously, I had three of the Final Five picked out by the end of Season 2, I just have a nose for these things.)

I travel with a towel and I know how to use it
If I’m tracked by a bounty hunter I know how to lose em thank to Han

CHORUS
Science Fiction is affecting my fantasies
I’m lying in bed with 23 Hermione’s
I know there is a great world out there for me to see
But I prefer the one on my TV

My hentai collection is bordering on scary now
(You wouldn’t believe the kind of stuff you can get for free online, I mean it’s not all interesting or good, but Wow!)
I’m wondering why there aren’t more movies out starring John Lithgow
(Really, have you guys SEEN Buckaroo Banzai in a long time, they simply do not make stuff like that anymore)

I can have a cogent argument about my favorite Doctor Who
Though I know I may be having it alone and not with you

CHORUS
Science Fiction is affecting my fantasies
I’m lying in bed with Agents Mulder and Scully
I know there is a great world out there for me to see
But I prefer the one on my TV

I wanna make love to you on the TARDIS
I wanna ride the sandworms on Arrakis
I’m like an even-numbered Star Trek film you can’t miss
Cause James T. Kirk’s got nothing on me, baby

(Hey look, a theremin!)

I hear that next fall there may be a new Joss Whedon show
(I mean really, can the man do any wrong? They may all get cancelled, but I frickin’ love Dr Horrible!)

But there’s nothing better out there on cable than Game of Thrones
(Dragons, incest, magic, Peter Dinklage … I swear, this show has everything!)

Used to have a lot of friends but I decided I don’t need ‘em
Got my whole life ahead of me though the next season
And Lost may not have made a lot of sense
but neither did you
and it won’t tell me what to do

CHORUS
Science Fiction is affecting my fantasies
I’m lying in bed with a model of Serenity
I know there is a great world out there for me to see
But I prefer the one on my TV

I can’t hear where I am
Over the din of your emotion
I am your sacrificial lamb
Moving in slow motionI can be what we need me to be
Please just show me where to goCHORUS
We’re in Violent Agreement
Saying the same thing
We’re in Violent Agreement
And I am the empty kingThere has to be a better way
My cup is running over
But we live to fight another day
And another hangoverI can be what we need me to be
Please just show me where to goCHORUSHelp me stop the bleeding, this dream will never end
And though my eyes are open, I will still pretend
Help me stop the bleeding
Please help me stop the bleeding
Please help me stop the bleeding nowI can be what we need me to be
Please just show me where to goCHORUS

One heart it takes to love
One heart it takes to be loved
I know you could bring me the love I need
Together forever, that we’ve agreedAnd I love you more than anyone I know
Seems Cupid shot me with his bowit takes one heart to be loved
it takes one heart to loveit takes one heart to be a love hero
your hate meter is registering zeroAnd I love you more than anyone I know
Seems Cupid shot me with his bowI love you thru any love obstacle.
I eat your love like a popsicle
And I love you more than anyone I know
Seems Cupid shot me with his bowit takes you to love me
it takes me to love youAnd I love you more than anyone I know
Seems Cupid shot me with his bow
Seems Cupid shot me with his bow

There’s no one greater, well that we’ve always known
We’re talkin’ about the brightest thing which the sun has ever shone
Sadly underappreciated, that’s always been true
And so my love, I’ll tell you what you always knew
And that’s thatWe belong together, or so I always thought
But for better or worse, it appears that you’ve been caught
So it seems pretty darling, you’ve put my love on the shelf
That’s why it’s finally time that I write a love song to myselfIt isn’t just narcissism that’s driving me here
And I hope that you understand what I’m telling you dear
I know that I could be a bigger man, but I don’t really care.
Not with this duplicity just hanging in the air, and I knowWe belonged together, or so I’d always thought
But for better or worse, it appears that you’ve been caught
And it seems pretty darling, you’ve put my love on the shelf
That’s why it’s finally time that I write a love song to myselfWhere do we go from and do I even care?
You’ve helped me to create my own living nightmare
And so I’m ending it, I should have realized
Everything your little heart had come to symbolize and soNow we aren’t together, like it or not
There are always some consequences, when you get caught
It’s my turn, pretty darling to put your love on the shelf
That’s why it’s finally time that I write a
love song to myself
That’s what you’re listening to right here,
a love song to myself
On the happiest day of the year a love song to myself

I don’t know what I am
but I’m pretty sure I’m not a man
When what I do is hurt the ones I loveAnd what sickens me is that I know
How wrong I am, how I could throw
away everything I ever dreamed ofI’m sorry for who I am
And whoever I pretend to be
What’s done is done, I can’t make it right
As far as I can see
At the end of it, the one to blame is meI wish that could find
all the reasons in my mind
that led me to another woman’s doorThe alcohol was not to blame
It only compounded the shame
as we sat silently after on the floorI’m sorry for who I am
And whoever I pretend to be
What’s done is done, I can’t make it right
As far as I can see
At the end of it, the one to blame is meI can pretend to be the one under control
It’s a hell of an acting job and its eating at my soul
What I really want is to find out who I am
Cause when I look in the mirror I don’t recognize this manThere are apologies to go around
We’ll keep our secret underground
And navigate this ocean all aloneBecause the woman whose heart this would break
Can never know or it would take
Away the only love I’ve ever knownI’m sorry for who I am
And whoever I pretend to be
What’s done is done, I can’t make it right
As far as I can see
At the end of it, the one to blame is me
At the end of it, the one to blame is me

I cheated on my girlfriend
With her brother
I really didn’t intend to do it
But we kissed each other
And then I kissed him again and again and againWhat am I going to tell my girlfriend
It’s me and not her. This is a dead end
That sounds cruel
Maybe I’ll just say boys ruleCHORUS
This is the deal
I think I’m changing teams
Her brother’s so real
But she’s a hazy dream
I guess that makes me a very bad boy
I never thought I would hurt her this way
It’s a great day for me, it’s her very worst day
I never set out to rain on her joy
But I just found out
I love boys.I guess I shoulda known this
But I didn’t
Until I saw her brother
All these feelings were hidden
Then I found bliss in his kiss again and againThis a bad situation
I couldn’t resist his flirtation
This could kill a girl’s ego
Maybe it’s better if she didn’t knowCHORUSI really, really, really, really knew I was in like with Kate
She’s charming, cute & clever she could’ve been my date
I tried, and tried, and tried, and tried, to make sure it turned out great
But then I learned that you can’t mess with fate

So I invented a Time Machine
It was all that I’d hoped for and all that I’d dreamed of
And I so took it for a spin
Back to the founding of this great nation, but oh my god…
I killed George WashingtonI didn’t mean for it to happen
And it seems that the British have won
I should leave well enough alone, but my work here’s not doneI need a Time Travel Mulligan
A cosmic do-over of the temporal kind
a Time Travel Mulligan
Let’s see how much of the timeline I can unwind(Ok, It looks I fixed that one, and if you check your history books, now I’m that guy in the back of the boat in that painting where he’s crossing the Delaware!)So I gave the time machine another try
Figured I’d learned my lesson I could limit my damage this time
Went back to Roswell to meet the aliens
We shook hands, told some stories, made some s’mores but o my god…
Gave them some kind of diseaseThey didn’t stand a chance
It was like when Cortez met the Mayans
And the government found em as I sat there and watched em dyin’I need a Time Travel Mulligan
A cosmic do-over of the temporal kind
a Time Travel Mulligan
Let’s see how much of the timeline I can unwind(Turns out I couldn’t do much in this case. I spent a few months getting poked and prodded on some military base until I was able to knock out some guards with a move I saw in a Jackie Chan movie that wouldn’t be released for fifty more years.)All I wanna do is see the best the world can show
And maybe impress some women with all the futuristic things I know
But everywhen I travel
Bad luck follows me
But no matter how hard I try
I can’t let time beI just barely avoided a situation
It’s one of those ugly things you thing about but never admit
It was back in 1932
Got it on with my grandma, couldn’t help myself she was a lot
hotter than I’d expectedBut it’s not as bad as it could be,
at least I avoided a time paradox
She decided not to keep the baby
so I’m not my own grandpa…Umm.. Ewww…

I need a Time Travel Mulligan
A cosmic do-over of the temporal kind
a Time Travel Mulligan
Let’s see how much of the timeline I can unwind
Let’s see how much of the timeline I can unwind
Let’s see how much of the timeline I can unwind

Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go onFar across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go onNear, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and onLove can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never let go till we’re goneLove was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we’ll always go onNear, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you’re here in my heart
And my heart will go on and onYou’re here, there’s nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We’ll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Marshmallows, marshmallows by the campfire
Beneath the starry, Pennsylvania sky
So cozy, so cozy by the campfire
All the lights are out but you and IBeen looking forward to this… all working week
Just you and me… under the treesI wanna make some s’mores with you
Graham crackers, marshmallows and chocolate too
Leave your iPhone in the car, sit around and play guitar
I wannna make some s’mores with youGraham crackers, graham crackers by the campfire
(But please, no gluten in them)
Got them on sale at the corner store
(Think I’m allergic to them)Marshmallows, marshmallows by the campfire
(But please, no gelatin)
Straight from a box of Lucky Charms
(I’m vegetarian)Pre-ChChBridgeMilk chocolate, milk chocolate by the campfire
(I’m sorry, but I can’t)
Bought us a gross at the warehouse store
(I’m lactose intolerant)Campfire, campfire by the campfire
(What kind of tree is this?)
I chopped it down myself today
(I think I’m getting sick)Pre-ChOff to the hospital with you
Benadryl, an Epi-pen, and your Driver’s License too
You’re in anaphalactic shock, and I don’t know what to do
I shouldn’t have shared those smores with you
(I shouldn’t have shared those smores with you)
I shouldn’t have shared those smores with you

There’s a curl to her hair
At the nape of her neck
When the weather is humid and warm
But she never perspires
She keeps everything cool
And I’m drawn to her willowy formWatch her bend in the breeze
Walk away on her toes
Like a dancer she moves by design
I could lower my eyes
But I’ll never be free
Of the figure that drifts through my mindChorus:
And all of this happened so long ago
When the fates so entangled our feet
But I still keep her picture locked safely away
With the memory of bitter and sweetThere’s a hint in her laugh
That I’m missing the point
When she watches herself in the mirror
She’s a vibrant bouquet
Of conditional smiles
In pursuit of a lucrative tearShe can bend to her whim
By the subtlest glance
The forlorn, the endowed and the craved
So I keep at arm’s length
But within easy reach
For the moment she needs to be saved(Chorus)So she followed the drink
And neglected to eat
As she played with her boys in the smoke
And they used her desire
So she’d snap when she burned
And they sneered when she started to chokeAnd I watched from afar
As she tumbled and crashed
Into everything left in her wake
As she suffered and bled
To the colour of chalk
I withdrew when she started to shake(Chorus)

She got married out of high school
Marty owned a flatbed truck
Roamed the county riding shotgun
They couldn’t believe their stupid luckAfter while, the drinkin’ and the miles
Went ahead and took their toll
Late one night, alone on highway 9
Off the Driscoll Bridge, he rolled
(Marty rolled…)Angelina
Never meant to cause no worry
Angelina
Acted naturally
AngelineTwo years later, at the local mega church
Widow in a little dress
Angelina was a woman on a search
Got herself into a messCaught the eyes of the pastor and his son
Each of them, upstanding gentlemen
Pa and junior went and bought themselves some guns
Neither one was left when the day was doneAngelina
Never meant to cause no worry
Angelina
Acted naturally
Angeline
And everyone who knew her said that everywhere she went
Somebody’d end up deadNext in line, the anchorman from channel 5
Brought her fame and promised heaven
Shooting on location, he met his strange demise,
…film at elevenVolunteering at the nursing home, she found her billionaire
With just a few months left to go
When he up and died, left his billions to his heirs
Three gray tabbies, he called Larry, Curly and Moe(Chorus)