This is everything that wouldn’t fit anywhere else. Some jazz, some funk, some weirdness in other genres.
It’s all fun.
| White Collar Suicide. Music and Lyrics by Das Binky. Available on the album Divide the Storm |
LyricsToday in the reports from Wall Street, another big day for the markets with early estimates in from many of the sector leaders, it appears to be a bang up day, and I really mean a bang up day, as the editors for Money, Fortune and Inebriated Donkey Fuckers of America report that there’s only one way this day and go and that’s up up up your ass like a goddamned bottle rocket of cold hard market capitalization, and you know just what the fuck I’m talking about you merchant captain of accountancy, ha-ha ya get it, like sea, like the ocean, shut the fuck up, back to the report, it really looks like the offshore investments we talked about last week may have tanked, but that’s fine, cause we shorted them, which is really the only goddamned thing we can recommend in times like these as we start to wonder why some dumbass pension manager in Dusseldorf decided bottom tier re-rated sub-sub-subprime traches made sense for the little sons of bitch Hans-and-Gretel’s over there eating up their wieners and schnitzels, but back over in the Asian markets things are looking a whole lot fucking better as 1.3 billion assholes with a coal-burning fetish and an annoying tendency to outperform the US dollar on an inflation-adjusted basis insist on once again on trying to prove that the almighty Invisible Hand of Capitalism is the not the one and only true god. CHORUS Back in the domestic markets, things are looking, well I’m not going to sugar coat it for you assholes, things are more or less in the shitter if you drive anything below, let’s say a Lexus, but if you’ve ever casually chartered a Cessna to take that fucking kid of yours to summer camp or some shit like that, chances are you aren’t hurting too bad right now. There’s a whole lot of joy in Mudville whether or not Casey strikes out, since the commodity market can’t seem to make heads or tails of what the fuck is going on and the asshole regulators still can’t figure out what they hell they’re going to regulate. Did you know know that if you mix orange juice and gasoline you can get a pretty reasonable facsimile of napalm? Also in the Crop reports today, soy beans are going absolutely apeshit, which may have mattered twenty-five years ago before traders traded anything other than strange derivative products that are really just meaningless repackagings of some other weird shit that you don’t understand. I mean thanks to the AIG motherfuckers, any asshole know what a collateralized debt obligation is, but really, can you tell me what the fuck an credit default swap is supposed to accomplish? Frankly as long as you’re able to get the edge of your heel pushing out on the chair when you kick it out from under you, the ergonomic motherfucker should slide far enough away that you won’t have a chance to reach for it if the survival instinct kicks in while you’re swinging from the goddamned noose above your cubicle. CHORUST hat’s right assholes, its raining blood and raining bodies whether you’re in Canary Wharf, Wall & Broad, or any of the other dying financial centers dotting this shithole planet. After the first wave, cutting your wrists or jumping off a bridge quickly became passe, but in the second round we started to see some ambitious undertakings like self-immolation, Russian Roulette parties and even the sporadic bout of seppuku. One of the top CEOs superglued his own asshole shut and went on an eating binge until he exploded from the pure volume of his own rank shit. The moral here is that there is more than one goddamned way to skin a cat, and in this lesson you’re the fucking cat. CHORUS Theysay only the good die young, but I can tell you right now that’s a fucking joke. With enough of a push, we all die young, and ladies and gentlemen, I’m here to give you that push. Just look out your windows and tell me what you see as you button your collar and straighten that tie and wonder for the last time why your fucking uniform comes with built-in leash as you wander, not haphazardly mind you, into the path of the nearest oncoming sport utility vehicle on your cul de sac, tap the heels of your Florshiems together and repeat along with me “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home” |
| The Decision. Music and Lyrics by Leslie Hudson and Das Binky. Play The Decision |
LyricsI close my eyes and the raft floats farther out to sea The release of knowing what but not when washes over me There is a comfort in inevitabilityThe feeling of jolting yourself before you can sleepThe feeling of catching yourself before the chair tipsThe feeling of swerving back into your own lane Just as the headlights blow past It’s always the moment of choice I close my eyes and the darkness pulls me out to sea The relief of knowing where but not why washes over me There is a comfort in a lack of integrity The conscious decision that, Today I will not fall The conscious decision that, I will stay in my lane The conscious decision that, Tomorrow is not lost How many times can I decide? It’s always the moment of choice The ocean washes over me |
| Lempel Ziv. Music and Lyrics by Das Binky. Play Lempel Ziv |
LyricsI’m sick and tired of you acting all moronic My anger is exploding, which maybe a little ironic I’m not gonna take you giving me any more lip And when I unload on you your file type will be dot-zipCHORUS I will compress you like a Lempel Ziv algorithm Employing lossless reproduction upon your ass I will beat you until you’re just like you, only smaller If you come back I’ll re-compress you in a second passI totally realize my anger is inflating Perhaps it would be a little more intimidating If I didn’t preserve you as you are, but bent you down across my knee And smashed you into something lossy like an mp3CHORUS I will compress you like a Lempel Ziv algorithm Employing lossless reproduction upon your ass I will beat you until you’re just like you, only smaller If you come back I’ll re-compress you in a second pass BRIDGE Now you’re lying there unusable until someone extracts you CHORUS |
| Right to Oblivion. Music and Lyrics by Das Binky, Performance by Das Binky and Dale Lake. Play Right to Oblivion |
LyricsWhere are my basest instincts when I want them most You are not what I dreamed And I am far far worseMy structure will not allow me access to the infinite There are too many paths I refuse to seeTake what I have to offer I rescind that which I choose Of all the things you claim You cannot own my absence I have a right to oblivionWe are not all special flowers We are not all unique God may love each of us But He doesn’t love us the same Take what I have to offer |
| She Begins Me. Music and Lyrics by Das Binky. Play She Begins Me |
LyricsShe Begins Me Cuts into me Down on one knee Shoot the TVYaaahhhOffer myself Book on her shelf Keep it cleaner MisdemeanorYaaahhh I derive my pleasure from Shop at the co-op Yaaahhh Tie a slip knot Yaaahhh I derive my pleasure from |
| Encyclopedia. Music and Lyrics by Das Binky and Nancy Rost. Play Encyclopedia |
LyricsBelgrade has an average high of 6.4 degrees in the month of February (February) The staple food of Arunachal Pradesh is rice, along with fish, meat and lots of green vegetables (vegetables) Scent figures heavily into lemur reproduction, escalating during the mating season (mating season)You read it in a book somewhere You don’t know what you’re looking for You read it in a book somewhere You keep coming back for moreThe mass consumption of British Punk by Maori youth paved the way for the influx of what Kopytko calls “the breakdance package” (breakdance package) Archeological evidence indicates that domestication of the Zinfandel grape occurred in the Caucasus region around 6000 BC (8000 years ago) The average speed of the herds at the running of the Bulls at Pamplona is 24 km/hr (15 mph)You read it in a book somewhere You don’t know what you’re looking for You read it in a book somewhere You keep coming back for moreDo you remember the lake in the summer? Do you remember angels in snow? I know it wasn’t always like this Do you remember me?Orchids are well known for the many structural variations in their flowers, though the leaves of many are considered ornamental (ornamental) The average human heart weighs 12 oz and beats 2.5 billion times in the average lifespan (all your life) You read it in a book somewhere |
| Alas, Poor Gidget. Music and Lyrics by Das Binky, Nancy Rost and Peter Watkinson. Play Alas, Poor Gidget |
LyricsAlas, Poor Gidget Alas, Poor Gidget Revealed her secret posthumously Alas, Poor Gidget Alas, Poor Gidget All her life she hid her gender identity Girls will be boys And boys will be bitches In the annals of canine historyHear my screams in your dreams Hear my screams in your dreams Taco Bell put me through Hell Taco Bell put me through Hell Lo no quiero Taco Bell Lo no quiero Taco BellAlas, Poor Gidget Canine midget Burritos will never quite be the same Alas, Poor Gidget Alas, Poor Gidget Til now we never knew your real nameThe market remains highly competitive for your replacement |
| Straight From the Dump. Music and Lyrics by Nancy Rost and T.C Elliott. Performance by Das Binky. Play Straight From the Dump |
LyricsI’m Tommy Rott, the troubadour I can’t afford much junk When I want a free guitar I get it at the dumpI believe in freedom I believe in stuff that’s free Freedom comes Straight from the dumpSome people call it surplus I call it what I got This building is abandoned I call it where I squatI believe in freedom I believe in stuff that’s free Freedom comes Straight from the dumpI don’t want to live my life Working for the Man When I need a little cash I sell aluminum cansI believe in freedom I believe in stuff that’s free Freedom comes Straight from the dumpStraight from the dump Straight from the dump I spend my time making songs I believe in freedom |
